sometimes you are in my dreams

sometimes you are in my dreams
you never act the way you did when you were alive
its always some absurd distortion
i wake up and the room is empty
my thoughts move from wall to wall like bullets
emotions ready to fire at the slightest provocation
i usually want to hear sad music at that point
something that was highly regarded by us
when you were alive

i make it into the afternoon somehow
various problems come and go
and i fall over dizzy
disoriented i remember the dream again
the back porch we inhabited like clockwork
every day after school

later i dont want to sleep
theres some vague resistance that i cant put words to
i watch comedy shows because its better that way
but tonight i remember why
im afraid i’ll dream of you again

dissonance is necessary

dissonance is necessary
caught in the net of the universe
i dont care what it wants
its will always done
dissonance is necessary
the escalators move on time
they dont care what i want
im just cargo
dissonance is necessary
dissonance is me
dissonance is necessary
dissonance in me
we’re lucky to not know
we’re lucky to not be
one eye always closed
one eye out of three
the antipodes of All-Mind
an atlas of being
a shrug from the universe
a chance to not be
i take my chances

kris cadwell – stop fractalling at me [2011]

Here is a new album for your ears.  please donate what you feel this album is worth. While donations were down for a while, i have paypal up and working again.  This link will allow you to download the entire album as a rar file, or listen to individual tracks with the links below.

 

01 kris cadwell – how to interrupt

02 kris cadwell – i should be getting paid for this

03 kris cadwell – mmm

04 kris cadwell – small white squares

05 kris cadwell – stop fractalling at me

06 kris cadwell – pop song

07 kris cadwell – tribute to autechre

08 kris cadwell – soft landing

09 kris cadwell – risk estimation

10 kris cadwell – tribute to Amy Goodman

11 kris cadwell – does a song know it’s name

12 kris cadwell – the last

 

kris cadwell – places to get lost [2011]

new album. it has two discs, the first one having more percussion.

kris cadwell – places to get lost (both albums)

the above link will let you download the entire album as a .rar file.  this can be opened with programs like winzip or winrar.  the links below will let you listen to or download individual songs.  donations are greatly appreciated

also, if you are not on my email list just hit me up at dyzv0r@gmail.com – you will only get an email when i release a new album

disc 01 – more structure

kris cadwell – crawling the asphalt

kris cadwell – biting stars

kris cadwell – tick tock

kris cadwell – super sonic sparkles, attack!

kris cadwell – insects cover the earth

kris cadwell – song titles ftw

kris cadwell – for sad people

kris cadwell – bot bot song

kris cadwell – stalking prey

kris cadwell – the kill

disc 02 – less structure

kris cadwell – a nice place to be

kris cadwell – plz help Bradley Manning

kris cadwell – a voyage

kris cadwell – harsh space

kris cadwell – machines at play

kris cadwell – on this cold night

kris cadwell – level nine

kris cadwell – ripples, waves

carpet texture

so which kris am i this morning?
i make some tea in a fog and take my meds
today i want to be alone
problems extend 3d projections around my skull
my sacred crown
life creeps into my morning, some door i forgot to lock

life can be great but theres SO MUCH of it
for example
i often stare at the floor or the walls behind people when we speak
the face is a carnival of meaning
the stream of consciousness unveiled
for me its not a stream, its a waterfall
a 3d projection pouring life experience into each human skull

carpets just have a nice texture

tonight there is an open mic
will i show up? what significance would it have?
what significance is there if i avoid it?
a single decision unfolds into an object that
grows a new dimension every time you observe it
how many decisions have you made today?

well my tea cup is empty
parting words, another infinite decision to make
go forth and multiply?
no
may the force be with you?
no
i just want to say
thank you for your patronage
please drive through

some new paintings

Hit kind of a dead end with one of my musical projects, so ive been painting more.

This last one is a work in progress, and of course miss wobbleton is deeply contemplating it.

unwound

i began walking to the store around 4:30
needed tea and fresh air
the song on my mp3 player is about october
and in real life it is early november
the final notification that your hopes
for a perfect summer
are dead

and im sure a thousand people have written
about grey-blue formless skies
falling leaves and a cold breeze
but i saw it myself
absorbed in texture and color
arrangement and chaos

and im sure a thousand people have written
about the feeling you get
when you unearth some childish wish from the past
that the universe simply ignored
they pile on year after year
the indifference is difficult to accept
but, my friend, its the only universe
i see evidence for

[for you semantic jerks, yes the parts of the universe
that take human form are capable of caring]

on the way home its almost dark
im drinking water that will likely be scarce soon
am i unhappy?
id have to ask my therapist
and he’d probably say thats not his job
i just sink into my senses
and survive a while longer
why am i even typing this?

09-22-10

30×40 in
the current state of my practice canvas

if this were a real painting i think id call it ‘parents’

also notice the fabled WindowCat.  very rare

untitled landscape with tv (sold)

Not a very good photograph but it will have to do.

09-08-10

This is the current state of my practice canvas. Its a 30×40 in canvas that i experiment on. I tried to express something darker than usual, even tho the actual process of painting it was enjoyable.

See also: my cat hanging out with the painting