sometimes you are in my dreams

sometimes you are in my dreams
you never act the way you did when you were alive
its always some absurd distortion
i wake up and the room is empty
my thoughts move from wall to wall like bullets
emotions ready to fire at the slightest provocation
i usually want to hear sad music at that point
something that was highly regarded by us
when you were alive

i make it into the afternoon somehow
various problems come and go
and i fall over dizzy
disoriented i remember the dream again
the back porch we inhabited like clockwork
every day after school

later i dont want to sleep
theres some vague resistance that i cant put words to
i watch comedy shows because its better that way
but tonight i remember why
im afraid i’ll dream of you again

dissonance is necessary

dissonance is necessary
caught in the net of the universe
i dont care what it wants
its will always done
dissonance is necessary
the escalators move on time
they dont care what i want
im just cargo
dissonance is necessary
dissonance is me
dissonance is necessary
dissonance in me
we’re lucky to not know
we’re lucky to not be
one eye always closed
one eye out of three
the antipodes of All-Mind
an atlas of being
a shrug from the universe
a chance to not be
i take my chances

carpet texture

so which kris am i this morning?
i make some tea in a fog and take my meds
today i want to be alone
problems extend 3d projections around my skull
my sacred crown
life creeps into my morning, some door i forgot to lock

life can be great but theres SO MUCH of it
for example
i often stare at the floor or the walls behind people when we speak
the face is a carnival of meaning
the stream of consciousness unveiled
for me its not a stream, its a waterfall
a 3d projection pouring life experience into each human skull

carpets just have a nice texture

tonight there is an open mic
will i show up? what significance would it have?
what significance is there if i avoid it?
a single decision unfolds into an object that
grows a new dimension every time you observe it
how many decisions have you made today?

well my tea cup is empty
parting words, another infinite decision to make
go forth and multiply?
no
may the force be with you?
no
i just want to say
thank you for your patronage
please drive through

unwound

i began walking to the store around 4:30
needed tea and fresh air
the song on my mp3 player is about october
and in real life it is early november
the final notification that your hopes
for a perfect summer
are dead

and im sure a thousand people have written
about grey-blue formless skies
falling leaves and a cold breeze
but i saw it myself
absorbed in texture and color
arrangement and chaos

and im sure a thousand people have written
about the feeling you get
when you unearth some childish wish from the past
that the universe simply ignored
they pile on year after year
the indifference is difficult to accept
but, my friend, its the only universe
i see evidence for

[for you semantic jerks, yes the parts of the universe
that take human form are capable of caring]

on the way home its almost dark
im drinking water that will likely be scarce soon
am i unhappy?
id have to ask my therapist
and he’d probably say thats not his job
i just sink into my senses
and survive a while longer
why am i even typing this?

weapons disorder

cold weapons incessantly orbit
our thoughts
the symptom of language
anti-satellite words typically flow ideas
[inappropriately]

thought pattern weapons and
conscious disorder warfare
missiles disable central idea development
pressure weapons to constrict
thinking space

space is a disturbance

(switching, blocking, schizophrenia, verbal warfare,
when the thought, is in games)
fiction seen as the central illness
facts facts facts facts facts facts facts facts facts facts

of course,
a species with Weapon Tourette’s
is characteristic of bio-derailment
abbreviated sci-fi weapons typically flow
defining ideas, disorders,
individuals

abstract flu

signs hurt you?
they seduce me produce me
lets determine who’s losing
score one for the poor one
it represents fun
signs pointing
appointing no one to nowhere
representing what’s fair without a care-

ful, these symbols are simple
and easily frightened
always insert them into the right end
steal them and slant them to pretend
signs hurt you
when they are too true
a valuable clue or an abstract flu?